A new dawn, new management, new captain but same old slow start for the Vets. But it should have been different. An early mazey run by Allaway (lost control of the ball) resulted in a penalty perfectly slotted away by newly appointed vice captain (or after last seasons photo revelations, “captain of vice”); Paul Filkins. The oppo were young and rubbish; early contenders to finish bottom of the league. They were susceptible to the long ball and Mark Gardiner beat a man before skillfully slotting the ball past the keeper to make it 2-1. At half-time the Vets tried to focus on smashing our world record number of passes. 3. It was very late in the game when our dream was achieved; a superb move ended up with the new record set. 4. Despite their equaliser that changed direction 8 times as it flew through the air; the Vets sensed victory and piled on the pressure only for Frogmore to be gifted the winner. A more clinical header you won’t see all season. Unfortunately it was by Macca; who becomes the first “Vets Monkey”, not so much for the OG but more for the comment “I couldn’t reach it; my legs are too short”. New captain Scissors was gutted as he tried everything to be the first winner of the weekly ‘wooden spoon’ he passed a free kick directly to one of their players then pretended he hadn’t taken it, threatened their right back who then complained; “Your bald captained just threatened me and I think he meant it” he said. And finally gifting a ridiculous hand ball near the final whistle from which they hit the woodwork (again).

Team
Roy Racey Allaway. Quiet game for the talented midget. Unusually didn’t miss any open goals
Salvatore Salv Diprima. Superb talking from the nets, showed skills that got him sent off for 1′s
Paul Filksy Filkins (1 pen). won the hard fought game of ‘statues’ in midfield
Dan Gardiner. Below bar display for the teams legs
Mark Gardiner (1). Great finish and 1 vote for Man of the Match (MOTM). Subbed at 75mins
Dave Wedge Gibson. An injury slowed him up, which was pretty slow. Subbed at 55mins
Dave Jeffsy Jeffs. Solid display at right back. 1 vote for MOTM
Dave Macca McArthur. 1 vote MOTM
Simon Scissors Shaw. 1 vote MOTM
Phil Taw. Off season training regime paid off, looked superb. 2 votes for MOTM
Scott Wiltshire. Solid performance earnt him MOTM with 6 votes

Subs
Pete Scottish Gardner (15mins). Came on to turn the game; and did. They won
Richard Arnie Marles (35mins). Long throw specialist came on throw and threw some special throws-ins a long way

Unavailable due to last match of the season cricket match (and subsequent champions – well done boys): Snapper, Rog and Ali
Unavailable due to injury picked up on Weds nights’ friendly: Hugger, Friel, Etherington-Smith, Pearsey, Dyson
Unavailable due to rectal prolapse: Milly
Unavailable due to being under the tumb or on hols or in love with their mountain bike: Kerr, Stokes, MacPherson

Hugger lead an impressive away support crowd and was asked to sum up the performance. “I remember once waking up in a field after I’d been drinking home made Elderberry Wine. I’d been sick on a sheep” he added.

Words by Racey.